No Rest for the Weary

The past few nights have sent my memory back to the early days of mothering Silas when I wasn't getting much sleep. Since then I have been really fortunate to have a son who sleeps for about 8 to 9 hours straight. Not so the case in recent memory.

Silas has been waking up extremely early, as in before 5:00 am, wanting to eat. I guess waking up to early is not something to be to worried about, it just messes up with my schedule. But in reality life with a four and a half month old really doesn't set itself up for "scheduled" success.

Sunday morning was when I first hit the wall because I was sooo tired when I first heard Silas' adorable, little coos coming from his room. I do say adorable because when I go in to get him, he is smiling, cooing, and babbling. Who could get upset to waking up to that?

Then last night happened, which I attribute to a busy, out of routine, Fourth of July, and the noise of nearby fireworks. Silas had only taken three 30 minute naps all day. We had a houseful of family all wanting to play with Silas. Who could sleep through the battling grandmas grabbing for egual attention from a cute, little one? I knew he was going to be extremely tired and sleep really well. Or at least I thought.

An hour after putting him down, I was already half way asleep myself, when I heard an ear piercing scream-cry. There is nothing like bolting out of bed, half asleep, to a heart pounding cry! I quickly picked him up and soothed him. After a bit of walking, rocking, singing and feeding, he finally feel back asleep. About an hour later, the same thing happened.

I awoke to another scream-cry. I picked him up, soothed him, changed his diaper, then put his pacifier in his mouth. 30 seconds later, he was out cold. I hung out in the nursery for a while, rocking in the glidder to make sure he was in fact asleep.

Three hours later, he was back up crying. It was a long night, and I was quite tired this morning when he awoke, cooing and babbling this time. Even when it's early, I would much rather wake up to a happy baby, than a screaming, crying one!

The most challenging thing that I have been learning in these first few weeks of transition to staying at home, is that as hard as I try to create a schedule, God has other plans for me. While I definitly didn't enjoy my three wake up calls last night, I most enjoyed holding my little one and looking into his eyes, trying to assure him that he was okay. It is such a wonderful feeling watching Silas fall back asleep in my arms, knowing that he is safe and loved.

As I spent most of my night rocking Silas back to sleep, I prayed for God's guidance and peace over his life. I sang my favorite hymns and worship songs to him, and I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to be Silas' mother.

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